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Exit Wounds

The wound is the place where the light hits you.”
…Rumi

We have all been betrayed. We have all been the betrayer. And, we often look to someone who we can trust more than ourselves. Perhaps this is because we know deep down how often we betray ourselves.

I have learned over the years that the people in my life who are most trustworthy are those people who tell me the truth even when the truth is hard. They are not always the people who keep their agreements with me. How does this make them trustworthy you ask?

Those who can be disloyal and can bear the responsibility of breaking an agreement with someone when the other option is to betray themselves…are trustworthy.

Yes, we have all had wounds. We have all been the betrayed and the betrayer. If we cannot acknowledge this, we will find ourselves harsh and unforgiving. And, especially unable to grieve for the times we have betrayed ourselves.

Now, refusing to betray ourselves does not give us a license to break agreements on a whim, or to disregard the aftermath of our actions on others.

Sometimes, it seems like we must be cruel…we must wound others, in order to be kind in the long run. And that’s the hardest part. The hard part too, the place where we hope that wisdom will find us, is in deciding where and when we must break a promise to be true to ourselves. We must weigh the cost to our soul…if we keep our agreement…the cost of that which is the essence of who we are…against the cost to others if the agreement is broken.

A wound, whether the betrayer or the betrayed…is that place where the choices we make are. But, if we can be still enough with what is…we can find that place deep in our soul where it is clear which choice is a choice for life, and we can make no other. And, that is where the light begins to seep in.

I ask you this. Can you do this? Can you make the choice that’s for life even when that choice is hard? When doing so makes you appear disloyal to others? Can you make the choice without putting yourself or the other out of your heart? This is what I want to know. For I believe, that if we are strong enough to be weak enough, we are given a wound that never heals. It is that wound…that gift that shines the light in and keeps the heart open.

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The Extrovert – Diary of A World That Can’t Stop Talking

 

Our culture made a virtue of living only as extroverts. We discouraged the inner journey, the quest for a center. So we lost our center and have to find it again.”

…Anais Nin

We’ve all grown up in this western cultural mindset that told us it’s great to be bold, to be sociable (think about Social Media). Extroverts love to get out there and meet new people, crank up the stereo, race to the finish line, tackle assignments quickly. Which means we’ve lost sight of who we really are.

But, did you know that one third to one half of our population are introverts?…in other words, one out of every two or three people you know.

That was astonishing to me! Could I actually be an introvert?!! So I did some research. And here’s a very interesting story that exemplifies how our North American culture evolved into the rise of the Extrovert Ideal…

The date: 1902. The place: Harmony Church, Missouri, a tiny dot-on-the-map, village in small-town U.S.A. Our leading character: a good-natured but insecure teenage boy named Dale.

Skinny, fretful, unathletic, Dale was the son of a morally upright but constantly bankrupt pig farmer. He loves and respects his parents but is horrified that he might end up like them. Dale worries about other things too. Thunder and lightening, having a date for his high school prom, and being tongue-tied at crucial moments.

Well, one day a very captivating speaker comes to town. You know the kind…with the ability to mesmerize an audience. And, he fascinates young Dale with his rag-to-riches story. How he went from a lowly farm boy with a bleak future, to how he developed a charismatic speaking style and took to the stage. Dale hangs on every word he says.

A few years go by and Dale is again impressed by the value of public speaking. He is now in college and he observes that the students who win the campus speaking contests are viewed as leaders, and he is determined to be one of them. He signs up for every contest. He practices every night at home. Again and again he loses.

Eventually though his efforts begin to pay off. He transforms himself into a speaking champion and campus hero. By the time he leaves college, students are seeking him out for help in speaking, and corporate America is booming. J.C. Penney, Sears Roebuck, Woolworth are all household names.

Well, this new economy called for a new kind of man…a salesman, a social operator who had a ready smile, a great handshake. You know the kind. So, Dale joins the ranks of those salesmen, heading out on the road.

Dale’s last name as you may have guessed by now is Carnegie. The rest is history. His book “How To Win Friends and Influence People” was one of the first best-selling, self-help books ever published. His story is also the rise of our cultural evolution that reached a tipping point around the turn of the twentieth century.

So, here’s what happened. We shifted our focus from inner goodness and integrity to outer seductiveness, magnetism, and charm. We went from a Culture of Character, to a Culture of Personality. And, we opened up a Pandora’s box of personal stress and anxiety from which we have not yet recovered.

And, it’s bizarre given the fact that most of us are actually introverts, who have learned how to adopt extroverted behaviors in order to succeed. But, at what a cost!! We have now reached epidemic levels in depression, and mental health issues. 

The solution is simple. But, most people have dismissed it with a wave of their hand and then carried on with their very busy lives.

What we ALL really need to do is to learn how to get still once again. We need to embrace the silence that is within us.  For it is there that we will receive great wisdom. Look at it as a sanctuary for our busy selves…a time when we can just “be” without having to impress anyone else. And, it’s very, very important that we discover this sacredness again.

It truly is an inside job. A training of sorts where the payoff won’t be in lining the pockets of those who are already “fat” from profits, but rather, a return to the riches of our own soul.

That, my friends, is priceless.

 

 

A Secret Ingredient To Life…Silence

“Perhaps the most important thing we bring to another person is the silence in us, not the sort of silence that is filled with unspoken criticism or hard withdrawal. The sort of silence that is a place of refuge, of rest, of acceptance of someone as they are.

We are all hungry for this silence. It is hard to find.

In its presence we can remember something beyond the moment, a strength on which to build a life.

Silence is a place of great power and healing.”

~ Rachel Naomi Remen

Sometimes, there is nothing more that can be added. Sometimes, in order to make a true impact, a statement must stand alone. Sometimes, silence is best.

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A Lesson in Letting Go…and Community

“Make like a tree and let the dead leaves drop.”

…Rumi

In the dead of winter there is this temptation to  cocoon or numb our senses until the bumblebees and the butterflies and the flowers come back to us in the spring. But, each season holds its own treasures waiting to be unlocked by those who are awake.

Nature doles out its treasures, its wisdom if only we participate. We can grasp deep understandings of the cycles of our Mother Earth.

Something that I’ve personally been beginning to learn when I walk in the cold and the silence is that feeling of exhilarating peace. And joy. And, I slowly, I have begun to shed what is not needed…I drop those dead leaves.

What limiting beliefs, habits, or relationships are you perhaps holding on to that no longer serve you?

Those majestic Maples, willowy Birches, stately Oak trees, and the like have no trouble letting go of everything each year. They have an understanding on a deep level that new leaves will return when the time is right.

And, the really wonderful thing is that nature uses all those dead leaves to fertilize the ground around those very trees that dropped them. So…in the spring they become strengthened once again.

And, I just recently came across this wonderful short story written by a friend that I’d like to share with you…It’s about a Birch Forest…

It occurs to me that we are a lot like birches…

Birches often grow very close together. They actually prefer it. Birch trees don’t do nearly as well alone as they do together. Truth be told, they don’t really do a good job of putting down roots. What that means is that they don’t grow to be all that old…not in tree years anyway.

A Maple will live to a ripe old age of 150. An Elm, up to 200. The stately Oak will tower over us in acorned glory for up to 450 years if allowed.

Not so the beautiful but fragile Birch. If it makes 100 it is a VERY old tree. Without a good root system things just don’t survive. Something that big needs sustenance and stability. It needs something that will keep it secured and strong in the famine and the storms of life. Sound familiar at all?

Because Birches don’t do well with roots they rely heavily on the closeness of their fellow tree folk. What they may lack in the ability to grow roots, they make up for in their well-grounded desire for ‘community.’ You will often find them leaning into each other and growing around each other with branches intertwined. Birches need each other…and they seem to know it. Sound familiar at all?

So, wherever you find yourself during this Winter season…whatever sustenance is needed, whatever storms are raging…take time to remember. Remember your roots and revel in your community!

~ Brent Helwig

And the wind said:  “May you be as strong as the Oak, yet flexible as the Birch. May you stand tall as the Redwood, live gracefully as the Willow, and may peace and prosperity surround you all of your days.”

 

 

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What Really Matters

New beginnings are exciting! They’re also a little scary.

While we’ve been busy chasing that elusive thing we call money, our planet has been actively re-balancing herself in order to aid us…the collective humanity, shift into a New World. A better world.

We have been moving into this new awareness as our own bodies have been re-calibrating in order to accommodate this new frequency vibration. Have you noticed low energy, or headaches, or any dizziness recently? These may be signs that your body is re-balancing itself. And the pace is quickening.

I can guarantee that all of us are facing personal challenges at this time. It may be health issues, relationship challenges, or finding a sound spiritual grounding. A lot is going on.

If you are sensing that the world is literally on the edge of huge change, then no wonder you are reading this! You are right on point.

This year your mind will process thousands of emails, Facebook posts, Tweets, Pinterest, Instagram, phone calls, TV shows, personal conversations and more. All this information is like candy for your brain. And, when it needs its fix, this “pain-body” will pester away at you until you feed it.

All this constant “distraction” is the food it needs to replenish itself. It eagerly devours every distracted thought. And, all this does is take your awareness to your outside environment when your journey here in life is to go inside and find Truth.

Hey I get it. My family knows only too well how thin I spread myself sometimes. That’s why I need to block out sections of my day to shut out all that noise and distraction and do my inner work. To get beyond and return to that inner sacred sanctuary where I meet up with blissful silence, peace, and fulfillment.

As our Mother Earth transitions into the new higher frequency, we come to realize that this is our next step in the evolution of humanity. Remember, whether we consciously know this or not, we chose to be here at this most critical juncture in the history of mankind.

Now is the time to find your own Personal Power. Once we see the true bigger picture of who we are and what we’re here for, everything gets reset and we start on a brand new path in life.

How do we put our best foot forward in 2016? What is the most productive and effective course of action in our personal lives?

To help you in this process of creating valuable time in your day to ‘go inward,’ I have outlined a few suggestions that you might like to look into.

1.  The Eris Point. Pure and Simple. This is our six week practical meditation program where you will discover not only how to deprogram those limiting beliefs that no longer serve you, but you will also learn how to decode your emotional guidance system. This program has had hundreds of life-changing success stories.  People like Carl who said: ”  Debbie made me feel safe, trusting, and comfortable. She strengthened my belief in myself and woke up my inner spirit. She has a pure heart and soul and her devotion is second to none.” To find out more email me here.>>

2. Million Dollar Moments. An inspirational book that provides daily keys to “Excelerate Your Life in 5 Minute Bursts of Brain Change.” People like Natalie said: “The perfect kick-start to your day, Million Dollar Moments enlightens us to use our brain to the best of our ability and stay calm amidst all the chaos in today’s society. The perfect book to keep bedside or on the coffee table to give you a quick boost of positivity and energy.” To find out more click here.>>

3. thatchannel.com. Here is a recent interview conducted with me to help you understand why now is the time to take action to empower yourself. It’s a unique, community-building Radio Show creating content that is informative, interesting, and enriches the lives of their member community.  To find out more click here >> 

If none of these are exactly right for you, we have personal coaching and tailor-made plans to help you get the most out of your life…because that’s what it’s all about isn’t it?

It’s going to be a busy year and as I’ve mentioned above, things are only going to speed up. Those times to embrace the quiet, trust the stillness and feel the calm, will be the key to moving through this year happily, healthfully, and successfully!

Abundant Blessings for 2016! And…Keep Shining. This planet needs your warmth.

Mind Full or Mindful? – Tip #6

The mind may pick up all kinds of things from earlier in the day and “replay” it endlessly.  Or, it may have low energy, or the mind may be restless and can’t stop running around.  Another state of mind is when it is full of worry or doubt.  These are all powerful internal states and the mind gets attached to these habitual ways of thinking.  They want attention right now.  You can free your mind by just staying with the breath and not strengthening them.

What Meditation Does For You – Tip #3

There are so many benefits to meditation.  It helps you to clear the mind and lets you sleep better at night.  It helps you to become aware of the continuous stream of thoughts occupying your mind for the better part of the day.  It helps with menopause.  It boosts your sex drive. It creates confidence. It burns karma.  It is a stress-buster. It is good for business.  It makes you happy!

Why Meditate? – Tip #1

It’s your very own personal experiment, performed in the laboratory of your own mind.  It’s quite simply a way to take the edge off anxiety, medical problems, and stress through a process of contemplation and reflection.  It is a state of mind achieved by relaxing the physical body and calming the mind.