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How To Handle Difficult Relationships

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

…Mark Twain

I have this co-worker who I really can’t stand. She is a sympathy seeker, plays up to the men, and worst of all she’s a bully to everyone else.  I am always cordial to her because I’m aware that she could turn on a dime and make me her next victim.

Needless to say, her total lack of emotional intelligence stresses me out! Whenever she walks into a room it make my blood boil and up goes the blood pressure. I tell you, it’s an emotionally exhausting relationship.

I knew I couldn’t go on like this but I felt conflicted about what to do. She was clearly unaware of how her behavior was making me feel. I felt it wasn’t right to be angry unless I decided to be honest. And, soon enough the opportunity presented itself.

She waltzed over to me one day with the intent to bully. She tried her best. She really did. She had demanded me to give her back something I had borrowed from her department and was currently using. She needed it NOW. Much to my surprise, the conversation went surprisingly well. She pushed for a bit. She pushed hard, in fact. But, I was really honest with her and she quickly understood where I was coming from.

Since then, things have been a lot better. Yet, I still tense up whenever she comes near me or, before she even opens her mouth. I had already written her off in my mind as someone to stay away from. But, I had also told myself to forgive her and start fresh. The truth was…I was unsure what to do next. I couldn’t seem to forgive her and move on.

Everyone deserves a second chance right?

As it happens a lot in life…those moments of coincidence…the same time this nuisance in my life occurred, I had been reading a book and there was a chapter on resentment. BOOM! There it was in black and white. “Holding a grievance or grudge separates people from themselves and separates them from truth and joy.” It went on to say that in reality, not forgiving others means that self-forgiveness and self-acceptance are absent.

My analytical, logical self could forgive this woman. That’s what I had already done. Emotional forgiveness though, takes forgiving a step further.  This book was telling me that what I needed to do was to replace the low-energy thoughts, low-energy words, and low-energy emotions I had with regard to this woman with high-energy thoughts, words, and emotions. I realized very quickly that this is what I was missing.

I had started out thinking about only my own thoughts and feelings regarding my co-worker, which is natural. Then I made the decision to forgive her and move on, but that’s where I got stuck. So, now my goal is to relate to and have insight regarding her, and replace those low-energy, negative thoughts with positive, high-energy ones.

And, even in writing this, already my whole opinion of her has softened. Perhaps she’s a lonely soul and playing the sympathy card is her way of attracting attention? Maybe her bullying other people makes her feel, for a moment, in control, and not so vulnerable to her fears? Both of those are where my good wishes could go out and do some good work.

Now my tough work of actively practicing it begins because…everybody deserves a second chance.

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The Extrovert – Diary of A World That Can’t Stop Talking

 

Our culture made a virtue of living only as extroverts. We discouraged the inner journey, the quest for a center. So we lost our center and have to find it again.”

…Anais Nin

We’ve all grown up in this western cultural mindset that told us it’s great to be bold, to be sociable (think about Social Media). Extroverts love to get out there and meet new people, crank up the stereo, race to the finish line, tackle assignments quickly. Which means we’ve lost sight of who we really are.

But, did you know that one third to one half of our population are introverts?…in other words, one out of every two or three people you know.

That was astonishing to me! Could I actually be an introvert?!! So I did some research. And here’s a very interesting story that exemplifies how our North American culture evolved into the rise of the Extrovert Ideal…

The date: 1902. The place: Harmony Church, Missouri, a tiny dot-on-the-map, village in small-town U.S.A. Our leading character: a good-natured but insecure teenage boy named Dale.

Skinny, fretful, unathletic, Dale was the son of a morally upright but constantly bankrupt pig farmer. He loves and respects his parents but is horrified that he might end up like them. Dale worries about other things too. Thunder and lightening, having a date for his high school prom, and being tongue-tied at crucial moments.

Well, one day a very captivating speaker comes to town. You know the kind…with the ability to mesmerize an audience. And, he fascinates young Dale with his rag-to-riches story. How he went from a lowly farm boy with a bleak future, to how he developed a charismatic speaking style and took to the stage. Dale hangs on every word he says.

A few years go by and Dale is again impressed by the value of public speaking. He is now in college and he observes that the students who win the campus speaking contests are viewed as leaders, and he is determined to be one of them. He signs up for every contest. He practices every night at home. Again and again he loses.

Eventually though his efforts begin to pay off. He transforms himself into a speaking champion and campus hero. By the time he leaves college, students are seeking him out for help in speaking, and corporate America is booming. J.C. Penney, Sears Roebuck, Woolworth are all household names.

Well, this new economy called for a new kind of man…a salesman, a social operator who had a ready smile, a great handshake. You know the kind. So, Dale joins the ranks of those salesmen, heading out on the road.

Dale’s last name as you may have guessed by now is Carnegie. The rest is history. His book “How To Win Friends and Influence People” was one of the first best-selling, self-help books ever published. His story is also the rise of our cultural evolution that reached a tipping point around the turn of the twentieth century.

So, here’s what happened. We shifted our focus from inner goodness and integrity to outer seductiveness, magnetism, and charm. We went from a Culture of Character, to a Culture of Personality. And, we opened up a Pandora’s box of personal stress and anxiety from which we have not yet recovered.

And, it’s bizarre given the fact that most of us are actually introverts, who have learned how to adopt extroverted behaviors in order to succeed. But, at what a cost!! We have now reached epidemic levels in depression, and mental health issues. 

The solution is simple. But, most people have dismissed it with a wave of their hand and then carried on with their very busy lives.

What we ALL really need to do is to learn how to get still once again. We need to embrace the silence that is within us.  For it is there that we will receive great wisdom. Look at it as a sanctuary for our busy selves…a time when we can just “be” without having to impress anyone else. And, it’s very, very important that we discover this sacredness again.

It truly is an inside job. A training of sorts where the payoff won’t be in lining the pockets of those who are already “fat” from profits, but rather, a return to the riches of our own soul.

That, my friends, is priceless.

 

 

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What’s Being Concealed From Us? And What Is The Right Thing To Do?

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Cowardice asks the question – Is it safe?
Expediency asks the question – Is it politic?
Vanity asks the question – Is is popular?
But Conscience asks the question – Is it Right?
And, there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular; but one must take it BECAUSE it is right.”

…Martin Luther King

There is a story about an elephant who, at 6,000 lbs. just stood there with a small chain wrapped around his ankle. What was so strange about this spectacle was that this creature made no attempt to break free from the small stake he was tied to. Something he could have easily done. This was a very puzzling thing indeed.

As it turns out, when this beautiful, magnificent elephant was a mere 200 lbs. he was chained to that very same stake. Every day. You see, he was conditioned to believe day after day, in his young years that he could not break free from his bonds and so, as an adult he never tried.

How many of us have avoided trying something new because of a conditioned thought? Worse still, how many of us have not taken a stand because of someone’s else’s limited beliefs?

How hard is it to become free and healed when there is a chance that it might not be safe, nor politic, nor popular?

This is where we are today. We have felt powerless for so long that we are at the risk of not realizing that we are the powerful now. We are at the risk of staying enslaved forever. Is this what we truly want for ourselves and humanity?

Well, here’s something we can do now. A baby step if you will…but an intensely powerful and potent elephant baby step…So simple, yet important and influential enough to change the direction of our future.

I came across a person by the name of Ty Bollinger some time ago. He is on a mission to eradicate cancer by teaching the world all the best methods to prevent, treat, heal from, and beat the disease…

…And to expose Big Pharma who profits BIG TIME by concealing the truth and feeding the public lies that cause millions unnecessary suffering (and their very lives).

Well, a short while ago, Ty released an uplifting and mesmerizing 9-part documentary series on “The Truth About Cancer: A Global Quest.” I was both captivated and held spellbound by the amount of unbelievably credible information that was delivered in this documentary.  I couldn’t wait each day for the next part in the series. It was THAT good!

I am happy to share with you today an incredible opportunity!

Beginning April 12, they are going to re-release “The Truth About Cancer: A Global Quest” 9-part documentary series for a limited time (for free).

Do yourself a favor and click on the link or copy and paste the link to watch for free “The Truth About Cancer: A Global Quest” video series that starts April 12th.

https://go.thetruthaboutcancer.com/?ref=586efb86-29f0-4dea-9876-101078c8c01a

I have nothing to gain by doing this. I just feel very strongly about the truth of this film series as I lost a sister to breast cancer.

You see, I am beginning to listen to my inner voice, to heed my intuition in matters of the heart. My conscience tells me that this is the right thing to do.

 

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Fear. What Is It Good For? Absolutely Nothing.

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change-717488_640“A miracle is a shift in perception from fear to love.”

…Marianne Williamson

Easy to say. Not so easy to do.

Especially since we’ve been weened on fear since birth. It’s been part of our conditioning. A part of our limited thinking.

You know, things that were said to us as we were growing up like “Money doesn’t grow on trees you know” or, “You wait until your father gets home.” This limiting fear belief is unconscious and so it is difficult to recognize. And, you seldom question it because you are not even aware that it is a belief.

And, since fear keeps us forever revving our motor…constantly thinking about how fast we can solve this problem, or the warp-speed with which we can finish up that task, there is never any time for us to slow down or get out of the rat race.

This, of course ultimately takes its toll on us. In ways we haven’t been able to imagine until recently. Things like depression and mental health issues that have reached epidemic levels.

But, here’s something to ponder. “If you look underneath your depression, you’ll find anger. Look under your anger, and you’ll find sadness. And under sadness is the root of it all, what’s really masquerading all the while…fear.”

Well, this changes everything! And, I sense that there’s a part of ourselves that is longing to be born and it requires only our nourishing attention.

If we begin to understand that our emotions (like fear) create our body chemistry, then we can change how we feel, we won’t need drugs to keep us going, and best of all, we won’t be depressed.

So, we now have a new way to think. Look at it this way: We are no longer a machine made up of a body being pushed around by a brain, at the mercy of an electrical charge that keeps our hearts beating and our nerve impulses crackling.

No. We can now see ourselves as an intelligent system, one that involves a massive synchronized exchange of information between mind and body. Our cells are literally talking to each other, and our brain is in on the conversation!

As I said earlier….This changes everything! It means our true identity is very connected to our feelings and our emotions. This not only gives us a new self-concept but a new sense of integrity as well.

For, as we begin to realize that our body has wisdom, this calls for a new kind of responsibility on our part. We can no longer act like a dumb machine and wait to be fixed by a mechanic (also known as a doctor). Now we must consciously take an active role in our own healing.

We no longer need to go around promoting how happy we are when we don’t really feel that way. No longer do we need to keep our feelings hidden, for fear others will be indifferent to our sorrows or anger.

It is this problem of bruised and broken emotions that most of us stagger under without ever saying a word. NOT. ANYMORE.

Here’s why.

Feelings represent a tremendous amount of concentrated information. And the clearer and stronger the feelings, the more knowledge of the Universe it contains.

In the end, it is our feelings that are able to scan all the information from our outside environment. It is through feelings, not through our mind or intellect that we are able to perceive the truth.

Think of it as a reset for the mind and the body. This is the new thinking that is required to help move us into the “new normal” we are now living in. How cool is that?!!

 

 

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What Really Matters

New beginnings are exciting! They’re also a little scary.

While we’ve been busy chasing that elusive thing we call money, our planet has been actively re-balancing herself in order to aid us…the collective humanity, shift into a New World. A better world.

We have been moving into this new awareness as our own bodies have been re-calibrating in order to accommodate this new frequency vibration. Have you noticed low energy, or headaches, or any dizziness recently? These may be signs that your body is re-balancing itself. And the pace is quickening.

I can guarantee that all of us are facing personal challenges at this time. It may be health issues, relationship challenges, or finding a sound spiritual grounding. A lot is going on.

If you are sensing that the world is literally on the edge of huge change, then no wonder you are reading this! You are right on point.

This year your mind will process thousands of emails, Facebook posts, Tweets, Pinterest, Instagram, phone calls, TV shows, personal conversations and more. All this information is like candy for your brain. And, when it needs its fix, this “pain-body” will pester away at you until you feed it.

All this constant “distraction” is the food it needs to replenish itself. It eagerly devours every distracted thought. And, all this does is take your awareness to your outside environment when your journey here in life is to go inside and find Truth.

Hey I get it. My family knows only too well how thin I spread myself sometimes. That’s why I need to block out sections of my day to shut out all that noise and distraction and do my inner work. To get beyond and return to that inner sacred sanctuary where I meet up with blissful silence, peace, and fulfillment.

As our Mother Earth transitions into the new higher frequency, we come to realize that this is our next step in the evolution of humanity. Remember, whether we consciously know this or not, we chose to be here at this most critical juncture in the history of mankind.

Now is the time to find your own Personal Power. Once we see the true bigger picture of who we are and what we’re here for, everything gets reset and we start on a brand new path in life.

How do we put our best foot forward in 2016? What is the most productive and effective course of action in our personal lives?

To help you in this process of creating valuable time in your day to ‘go inward,’ I have outlined a few suggestions that you might like to look into.

1.  The Eris Point. Pure and Simple. This is our six week practical meditation program where you will discover not only how to deprogram those limiting beliefs that no longer serve you, but you will also learn how to decode your emotional guidance system. This program has had hundreds of life-changing success stories.  People like Carl who said: ”  Debbie made me feel safe, trusting, and comfortable. She strengthened my belief in myself and woke up my inner spirit. She has a pure heart and soul and her devotion is second to none.” To find out more email me here.>>

2. Million Dollar Moments. An inspirational book that provides daily keys to “Excelerate Your Life in 5 Minute Bursts of Brain Change.” People like Natalie said: “The perfect kick-start to your day, Million Dollar Moments enlightens us to use our brain to the best of our ability and stay calm amidst all the chaos in today’s society. The perfect book to keep bedside or on the coffee table to give you a quick boost of positivity and energy.” To find out more click here.>>

3. thatchannel.com. Here is a recent interview conducted with me to help you understand why now is the time to take action to empower yourself. It’s a unique, community-building Radio Show creating content that is informative, interesting, and enriches the lives of their member community.  To find out more click here >> 

If none of these are exactly right for you, we have personal coaching and tailor-made plans to help you get the most out of your life…because that’s what it’s all about isn’t it?

It’s going to be a busy year and as I’ve mentioned above, things are only going to speed up. Those times to embrace the quiet, trust the stillness and feel the calm, will be the key to moving through this year happily, healthfully, and successfully!

Abundant Blessings for 2016! And…Keep Shining. This planet needs your warmth.

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How To Soul Dive and Ride The Wave of Change

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“Right on the other side of the moment you’re ready to quit is the moment just before the miracle happens. Don’t Quit.”
…Deborah L. Hall

Holy crap! There have been some strong energetic signatures out there lately. Some people have felt pushed to the brink, having too much responsibility, and feeling over-burdened. Expectations seem to be unrealistic and border on absurdity or, almost on insanity.

For some of us, we have taken a deep dive into our feelings, our thoughts, our life patterns, our life journey. A soul dive if you will. We’ve gone deep into ourselves where there seems to be an electric current poking and prodding us to shed, to release, to cleanse, to awaken.

Perhaps you have days when there is clarity and a certain peace. Then these days are followed by restlessness, uncertainty, and disquieting feelings. Days where you feel that something must be going wrong and it needs to be changed…and quickly, but, realize you don’t have the energy to make these changes happen.

Does that sound familiar to any of you? You are not alone.

Keep in mind something that is fundamental to us as humans. Something that is not understood as yet but, is absolutely prevalent  in everything we do. And it is this:

Thoughts are electrical.  Emotions are magnetic. This is electricity that is moving through your energy field and the collective field of humanity. Transporting us, and in some cases, hauling us into clearing. It is never-ending and can drive you mad! One day you feel an immense sadness, then the next a beautiful, bedazzling moment of clarity.

So, what we need to do in a way that won’t drive us crazy is to ride the wave of these inner-thoughts and feelings. Just allow the chaos of these experiences rise and fall in you. Surrender to this. Don’t fight it or judge it for if you resist, it will just seem harder almost like it’s “fighting” against you.

Our world is in transition. And, now when you find yourself at the bottom of the ocean, instead of being in fear, realize that you can in fact feel safe and find new space to be in. Because once you realize that you have a choice to go forward in a new way…one without limitations, you can allow that seeming chaos in.

For, it comes from those impulses of electricity that is driving us all right now. Asking us to flow with the change. Asking us to find re-birth within this change. And, to lose the old sense of identity, the one with boundaries and limitations. That we will in fact be safe without our old ways.

Can you accept that where you find yourself today whether it be in clarity or massive restlessness, it only requires that you not be in judgement, that you need only have great compassion from you, and for you?

So, stop buying into the stress and speed and busyness of life and this week pay attention to the energy of those around you. Keep the company of people with nutritious energy and not those that are toxic to your soul.

Can you love yourself despite what you might be feeling this week? Can you let the layers of human judgement and domination we have all absorbed and identified with, fall away?  Even if it looks and feels messy?

Because it is there that we find the peace that lies at the bottom of the ocean. For, once we accept how different it seems, we begin to realize how safe and connected it all is. You are very loved. Never forget that.

As seen in this beautiful short video between Wayne Dyer and Esther Hicks, it is sometimes when life seems most difficult that the greatest shifts are made and profound insight attained.  Don’t Quit.
 
 
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What Superheroes Can Teach Us About Survival

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It’s easy to make a buck. It’s a lot tougher to make a difference.”
…Tom Brokaw

There is a lot of turmoil brewing in the skies these days. Can you feel this building? Does it cause turmoil inside of you? Anxiety?

These unappealing situations or circumstances can be an opportunity for growth. It’s because you are unfamiliar with them that it produces a certain amount of disquiet or angst. Your focus is on the potential of loss or of pain. We are indeed a traumatized society.

But, what if instead, your focus was on the anticipation of an adventure? We are much better served when our attention is on the thrill of an incredible journey. And, when you have a Superhero beside you, it is an adventure not a struggle.

The sacred masculine has begun to re-emerge in both men and women showing us a new way. It includes harmony as part of the solution ~ not just what you can do by flexing your muscles. We engage in the mystery and magic of life instead of the paranoia and the pain.

There’s a reason why the male archetype is so popular in books and movies these days. Everyone loves to see somebody win against impossible odds and bring the village back into balance.

It’s inspiring. It’s exciting. It’s romantic. It’s everything good and decent about what a man can be.

So, go out there this week and do something good. Become a Superhero. Make a difference. And, a good way to begin is to watch this video clip about a highly respected  ABC TV Anchorman, Dan Harris who experienced a severe anxiety attack and had to go off air during a live segment. This was a crippling moment for him and one of the toughest moments of his life.

Watch what could have been the straw that broke the camel’s back turned into the biggest turning point in his life. What Dan Harris did next is inspirational. He is now changing lives all over the world.

Check out how this one thing has changed the life of Dan Harris forever.

 

 

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How To Get Conscious! 5 Ideas That Really Work

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“Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing til it gets there.”
…Josh Billings

Now consider our brain.  Like a company, it has many departments that specialize in one thing in order to make the whole work more effectively.

The unfortunate reality is that because of our really busy lives, the everyday struggle for survival, the constant stress cycle we live in, we have become less intelligent.

Why? Well, that’s because we’re operating not from our conscious processes, we’re running the many departments in our brain from our hind brain reflexes ~ because it’s faster and survival oriented.

How do we change this? How do we slow down and evolve as a compliment to the intoxicating, compelling beings that we really are?

How to Get Conscious! 5 Ideas That Really Work.

1. The quickest, most effective way to slow down your brain is through deep breathing. As you learn once again to take deep breaths of oxygen into your lungs, you will experience immediately that your body starts to respond by slowing down. And, as you begin to pay attention to your breath, your mind will start to slow down as well. This is a good thing. For once you make a conscious connection with the breath, it will give you something more. Every. Single. Time.

2. Become aware of the Energetic System that is within your body. The long, slow breaths will help you with this. This system is also known as your Chakra System…7 tiny tornedo-like vortexes that spin the energy in your torso and head. This energy system takes in good, clean energy. It also assimilates the energy that is already there existing in your body. And, it releases any toxic energy that may be residing there without your knowledge.

3. Practice Meditation. This is an extremely effective way to raise your consciousness. This can be as simple as taking a walk in the forest, or riding your bike, or sitting in quiet contemplation. For you see, you are disconnecting with the busy-ness of your everyday life. You are giving a gift to yourself. It helps to open the gateway between your left and right brain. It helps you to create an awareness of life’s simple pleasures. If you don’t have the time to wash your clothes, hang them out to dry, and then breathe in that sweet freshness…you’re too busy!

4.  Get rid of the stories in your head. Make them like you instead. Start to see Fear for what it really is…a clever way to manipulate our minds into believing the stories we tell ourselves. We don’t think. Thinking happens to us. And, for most people, we are unfortunately at the mercy of the stories in our heads. Stop. Leave those negative thoughts behind. You really have no time for them in your life. They stop your flow.

5. Dreams, Imagination, Coincidence, Intuition. Powerful. It is not just a dream. It is not just your imagination. It is not just a coincidence. These things all happen in the limbic part of your brain. This center has no capacity for language. It’s why you can’t put into words why you want to do the things you do. It’s also called a “gut feeling.” You just know that you know. And, when you begin to get still enough to hear these whispers, you will never be led astray. Ever.

Are you serious about getting right with yourself? About becoming someone who has more energy, stronger intelligence, greater creative powers, a better sense of awareness?  Then, start with these 5 simple ideas to flush out those floundering, paralyzing thoughts and give your own consciousness the boost it deserves!

WARNING: Below is a banned TEDtalk on The War on Consciousness by Graham Hancock. It’s definitely controversial but worth the watch.

Fear – Quick Tip #33

 

It does three things. It not only stops the growth and maintenance components of our bodies, it shuts down our immune system!

Just stop it!  There is nothing to fear.