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Exit Wounds

The wound is the place where the light hits you.”
…Rumi

We have all been betrayed. We have all been the betrayer. And, we often look to someone who we can trust more than ourselves. Perhaps this is because we know deep down how often we betray ourselves.

I have learned over the years that the people in my life who are most trustworthy are those people who tell me the truth even when the truth is hard. They are not always the people who keep their agreements with me. How does this make them trustworthy you ask?

Those who can be disloyal and can bear the responsibility of breaking an agreement with someone when the other option is to betray themselves…are trustworthy.

Yes, we have all had wounds. We have all been the betrayed and the betrayer. If we cannot acknowledge this, we will find ourselves harsh and unforgiving. And, especially unable to grieve for the times we have betrayed ourselves.

Now, refusing to betray ourselves does not give us a license to break agreements on a whim, or to disregard the aftermath of our actions on others.

Sometimes, it seems like we must be cruel…we must wound others, in order to be kind in the long run. And that’s the hardest part. The hard part too, the place where we hope that wisdom will find us, is in deciding where and when we must break a promise to be true to ourselves. We must weigh the cost to our soul…if we keep our agreement…the cost of that which is the essence of who we are…against the cost to others if the agreement is broken.

A wound, whether the betrayer or the betrayed…is that place where the choices we make are. But, if we can be still enough with what is…we can find that place deep in our soul where it is clear which choice is a choice for life, and we can make no other. And, that is where the light begins to seep in.

I ask you this. Can you do this? Can you make the choice that’s for life even when that choice is hard? When doing so makes you appear disloyal to others? Can you make the choice without putting yourself or the other out of your heart? This is what I want to know. For I believe, that if we are strong enough to be weak enough, we are given a wound that never heals. It is that wound…that gift that shines the light in and keeps the heart open.